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Babies, Life Lately, Pregnancy
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December 30, 2018

my miscarriage / pregnancy of unknown location

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positive pregnancy test

2018 was a rough year, full of ups and so many downs. Never did I guess it would end with a miscarriage. Hearing my blood test was positive and I was pregnant was the most exciting day of this year. Hands down. The nurse said my number was a little low for being 5 weeks, but not to stress.

4 days later I got back the results from my second blood draw. My numbers were rising, but slowly. I had 4 happy days of dreaming about this baby. Figuring out my due date, thinking how strange it would be to be super pregnant in summer, wondering if baby was a boy or girl, picturing Benny as a big brother. It was a long two weeks with blood draws every other day, including my birthday (Christmas Eve), spending 4 hours in the ER and had 2 ultrasounds.

I was diagnosed as “pregnancy with an unknown location” and miscarried on my own, which means I avoided the shot that starts a miscarriage to end an ectopic pregnancy. It sucks and it’s not fair… driving from Christmas to Christmas, putting in a happy face even though I was losing my baby.

So, for everyone else who is feeling depressed, anxious, upset or angry, you’re not alone. If sharing what you’re going through helps, then do it. If it helps to keep it to yourself, do it. For me, I need to share. And then I need a few days away from my feed full of cute baby bumps and adorable newborns. I need to process my grief and the loss of this baby I am losing.

I am so thankful for friends who drop everything to pick my kids up from the ER so I could concentrate on myself. Friends and family who send texts and snapchats and flowers and who check in on me every day. Right now I’m not okay, but I know I will be. I have two beautiful babies here with me and one angel baby in heaven.

Here’s to starting 2019 with hope in my heart and my love for my family stronger than ever. ❤️

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Hi! I'm Trista

I'm a wife and a mom of three. I live in Iowa where I spend my time chasing my babies, chugging caffeine, reading books and avoiding the laundry. I'm so happy you're here!

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Ben didn’t have school yesterday (but Blaire did!) so my dad took him for some 1-on-1 time and Ben caught some big bass! He had so much fun! I love hearing about his time making memories with his grandpa. And I feel so lucky my dad is retired and loves getting the kids outside! ❤️
Ben didn’t have school yesterday (but Blaire did!) so my dad took him for some 1-on-1 time and Ben caught some big bass! He had so much fun! I love hearing about his time making memories with his grandpa. And I feel so lucky my dad is retired and loves getting the kids outside! ❤️
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Ben didn’t have school yesterday (but Blaire did!) so my dad took him for some 1-on-1 time and Ben caught some big bass! He had so much fun! I love hearing about his time making memories with his grandpa. And I feel so lucky my dad is retired and loves getting the kids outside! ❤️
Ben didn’t have school yesterday (but Blaire did!) so my dad took him for some 1-on-1 time and Ben caught some big bass! He had so much fun! I love hearing about his time making memories with his grandpa. And I feel so lucky my dad is retired and loves getting the kids outside! ❤️
Ben didn’t have school yesterday (but Blaire did!) so my dad took him for some 1-on-1 time and Ben caught some big bass! He had so much fun! I love hearing about his time making memories with his grandpa. And I feel so lucky my dad is retired and loves getting the kids outside! ❤️
Ben didn’t have school yesterday (but Blaire did!) so my dad took him for some 1-on-1 time and Ben caught some big bass! He had so much fun! I love hearing about his time making memories with his grandpa. And I feel so lucky my dad is retired and loves getting the kids outside! ❤️
•
Follow
Ben didn’t have school yesterday (but Blaire did!) so my dad took him for some 1-on-1 time and Ben caught some big bass! He had so much fun! I love hearing about his time making memories with his grandpa. And I feel so lucky my dad is retired and loves getting the kids outside! ❤️
5 days ago
View on Instagram |
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AND yesterday was Sloane’s last day of 2 year old preschool. She absolutely rocked this year! I was nervous because she’s definitely attached to me. But she was more than happy to go see her friends 2x a week. I’m so proud of my girl!
•
Follow
AND yesterday was Sloane’s last day of 2 year old preschool. She absolutely rocked this year! I was nervous because she’s definitely attached to me. But she was more than happy to go see her friends 2x a week. I’m so proud of my girl!
1 week ago
View on Instagram |
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Look who moved from Lion Scout to Tiger Scout this past weekend. 🧡💙 I am so proud of everything he did this year during his first year of scouts.
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Follow
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View on Instagram |
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Follow
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#bernedoodle #bernedoodlesofinstagram #minibernedoodle
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Follow
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