I recently read an article with a list of things SAHMs want working moms to know. And every, single item on that list was something that also applies to me (not a SAHM). I am bombarded with pieces on Facebook, almost daily, of the differences between working moms and SAHMs. But when you really think about it, us moms aren’t all that different.
- It’s hard.
Nothing worth having or doing is ever easy, right? (See: Motherhood) Whether you’re home caring for your kiddos all day, or you’re rushing out the door bright and early to get to work on time… it’s hard. Sure, some days are easier than others, but at the end of the day, being a mom is hard. Whether your morning is chaos because you have to get to work, or it’s chaos because it’s only 7:30AM and your kids are already going stir crazy… IT’S HARD.
- We’re doing what’s best for our family.
Everyone has a different financial situation. Whether you’re a working mom or a SAHM, you have chosen to do what’s best for your family. You might be happy to stick to a budget to make one income work, or maybe you have a job that covers the cost of daycare, while also contributing extra income to your household. Maybe you work because you love what you do, or maybe you were counting the minutes until you could leave your job to stay home with your kiddos full time. No matter what you’ve chosen, you’re doing what’s best for you and for your family. And is there really anything better than that?
- We put our children first.
Sending your baby to daycare doesn’t mean you don’t love them/care about them/miss them all day long. And staying home with your kids doesn’t mean you’re sheltering them from everything/kicking back on the couch all day/throwing Pinterest-worthy play dates errrday. As I said in no. 2, we’re all doing what’s best for our family. Whatever we’ve chosen as our career path, we are putting our children first. I’m a working mom and I love Blaire’s daycare. Do I miss her all day? Definitely. Do I appreciate that she has her own friends and has lots of experiences away from me every day? Yes! But there’s something to be said for being there to witness all of your child’s firsts and it has to be pretty awesome to always been the one who is always there to wipe away their tears.
- We need “me” time.
Being a mom is exhausting. SAHMs are counting down the hours until their hubbys get home to lend a helping hand. Working moms are counting down the minutes until they can leave work to get their kiddos from daycare/school. Sure, working moms get out of the house on week days. But, for most people, being at work isn’t necessarily a giant social hour. And while SAHMs might get out the house to the park or to play dates, most moms need more “me” time with their mom friends. Whether it’s dinner, drinks, pedicures or just time away by yourself, all moms need that “me” time to unwind. So go ahead and book that massage for Saturday morning… your hubby can handle the kiddos.
- Mom guilt.
All moms experience mom guilt at one point or another. Mine always happens when I want “me” time. We all lose our temper. Whether it’s because you had to listen to Minions on repeat for five hours or because you had a rough day at work and your kid threw a 15-minute-long tantrum in the car on the drive home from daycare. We all lose our cool and then regret it later. My mom guilt usually kicks in once I’ve tucked Blaire into bed for the night. I want to sit in her room and apologize to her over and over and over again. All we can do is drink some wine (or coffee), text our mom friends about it and make tomorrow a better day.
- We’re constantly under pressure. So. Much. Pressure.
If you’re a SAHM, you might feel pressure to have a spotless home with a fancy, home-cooked dinner on the table every night. If you’re a working mom, you might feel pressure to spend all of your time outside of work with your kiddo. (See #5 and #6.) We’re all doing our best. We all have things we find relaxing and maybe that’s cooking or cleaning, but maybe it’s reading or writing. And this is why you need “me” time.
- The grass is always greener on the other side.
Every morning I’d rather snuggle in bed with Blaire until she drags me out of bed vs. jumping out of bed after my alarm for work goes off. But I also love my kidless, workday lunch dates with my coworkers/friends. I love the financial security of our family’s second paycheck and knowing I’m investing in my own retirement, but that doesn’t mean I don’t think about whether or not Blaire will someday wonder why she spent so much time at daycare. (#momguilt) But, in the end, we’re all doing what works best for our family.
Motherhood is so rewarding, but so, so hard. Whether you’re a mom who works outside the home, a mom who works from home or a mom who stays at home… you’re a mom. We can all be friends. We can all empathize with each other… because we’re all fighting the same battles… we’re all drinking the same wine after the kiddo’s bedtime. And we all know wine is better with a friend. ;)