• I’ll take 3 more of her.
  • these first few smiles are literally the best thing ever. when you realize how happy you make a tiny person. when you see their face light up because they love you so much. then you fast forward 2.5 years and they’re demanding brownies and cheetos for lunch. 😬😬😬 #sixweeksold #happilytrista
  • (sponsored) When you become a parent, there are so many new things to learn about and I feel like each person latches on to something they’re passionate about / can’t stop reading and learning about. For me? That’s car seats! Thankfully some states are finally updating their laws to conform to recommendations from the APA. We have tried quite a few different seats and this 3-in-1 Pria seat from @maxicosiusa is the nicest! The chest clip is magnetic, making it easy to clip and unclip with one hand. The straps stay in place thanks to their out-of-the-way spring assist, so no more twisted up straps. And the cushions are both washer AND dryer safe! Yay for no more hang-drying! On top of that, it’s rear-facing up to 40lbs, forward-facing up to 65lbs and then a booster up to 100lbs. #ParentYourWay #PriaMax3in1 #happilytrista
  • 6 weeks of this angel girl ✨
She is still waking up once over night most nights. She just started smiling at us these past few days. She loves tummy time but rolls herself over all of the time so we have to roll her back. She loves to be worn and snuggled. And we have to restrain her brother from kissing her 193739 times per day. 🤪 #happilytrista #newborn #sixweeksold #fourthtrimester
  • We are currently paying the price for last week’s easy bedtimes. I’m trying to get Ben to sleep in his own room. So you can guess how happy he is about that. His yelling has Blaire awake still, she’s been out of her room about 25 times. And Sloane is passed out on the couch. At least someone is asleep. They’re lucky they’re adorable because holy moly I’m tired and just want to veg out on the couch. #gotheftosleep #blairebenandsloane #happilytrista
  • Yesterday was almost 60° and today it “feels like” 21°. We had a handful of fall days and it’s not fair because I’m not ready to skip right to winter. There’s nothing better to get us all out of the house than a walk, especially because wearing Sloane puts her right to sleep. Anywho, trying to squeeze in a nap before we get Blaire from school because once we get home it’ll be a mad dash for me to shower and get everyone ready for Blaire’s first kindergarten parent/teacher conference. AND it’s book fair at her school. Who still gets excited for the book fair? 🤭🙋🏼‍♀️ #happilytrista
  • someone changed out of their pajamas today. it wasn’t me.
#happilytrista #rainbowbaby
  • daylight savings vibes... casually pouring coffee in my eyes today. what time were your kiddos awake? 
#dst #daylightsavingssucks #happilytrista #targetstyle
  • Sorry if this made you yawn. 🤭 I just love that Sloane feels the sleep dust when I’m wearing her, just like Benny did! 💕 Hope you’re having a weekend as great as this girl. She is one month old today! Still waking just at 1:30am most nights to eat... occasionally around 5am, too. When she’s awake she likes to look at lights and stare at mama. Whenever she does tummy time she rolls right over to her back. 🥰 #happilytrista
  • Tried some Pinterest-y nail art while the two older kids were at school this morning... and I’m ready to remove and do something a little less crazy when they’re all in bed tonight. 🤪 Real wild Friday night plans, am I right?
#nailsofinstagram #nailsoftheday #essie #manimonday #happilytrista
  • Sloane’s first Halloween... the one where it snowed 3 inches and was 20° outside. Woody and Jessie lasted about 30 mins trick-or-treating, then they wanted to head home to hand out candy. What was the weather like where you live? And how many pieces of candy do people give out where you trick-or-treat? Here, it’s a tie between “choose two pieces” and “grab a handful.” #blairebenandsloane #halloween #halloween2019 #happilytrista
June 8, 2018

what it’s like to be a mom with generalized anxiety disorder


Trista Peterson June 2018Constant worrying.

Obsessing over a sad story on the news… so much so that it keeps you awake until 4am. 

Feeling too nervous to ask for help… thinking if someone else helps care for your baby or child, something bad will happen to them. 

Cosleeping because you’re too worried about your children’s safety to let them sleep in a different room. 

Avoiding busy public places because you’re scared something bad might happen. 

Feeling too overwhelmed and exhausted to function.

Feeling so stressed out and nervous that you find yourself yelling and losing your temper over the smallest of things.

My entire life I’ve dealt with anxiety. It’s gotten progressively worse as I’ve gotten older. The thing is, I never realized I had anxiety. Sure, I thought I was a worrier. But that’s where it stopped. I simply thought there were people who worried about things and the people in their lives and there are people who don’t. I was just one of the unlucky ones who worried. A lot.

I’ll never forget the first time I heard of “Generalized Anxiety Disorder” (GAD). I was reading an article about Kristen Bell’s battle with anxiety on It explained that Bell battles with GAD and it explained what GAD is. When I read their definition, something inside me clicked.

The article said, Generalized anxiety disorder is the persistent and unrealistic worry about everyday things. So even though there isn’t a reason to worry, the excessive feelings still show up.

I finally felt like I knew what was “wrong” with me. I have anxiety. Identifying the problem made me feel a bit better. But I was too nervous to seek treatment for my anxiety. I thought knowing what I was up against was the battle. I thought I’d be able to fight it on my own.

But as the months passed it would get worse and worse. I would lay awake for hours upon hours every night.

Terrified that every sound I heard was someone inside our house. At first I was so scared I would wake Jason… but then he would offer to get up and walk through the house. And to me, it was SO real to me that someone was in our home that I absolutely couldn’t let him leave our locked room.

Replaying every scary thing I heard on the news that day… every sad post I saw on Facebook.

I was exhausted. But then after a few months of rough days, it would get better. The constant worries in my brain would slow down. I would get more sleep. I was able to more easily let go of things that normally worried me.

After Ben was born, it got worse and worse. Still, I did nothing. I was worried medication would make me feel different. Make me feel “not myself.” I was worried I couldn’t nurse while on medication. I was too nervous to even say “yes” when the nurse asked me at my postpartum visit if I was experiencing any anxiety.

Months went by and my anxiety only continued to get worse. Then, one day, my friend Jen shared her battle with anxiety in a blog post. She shared that she had started medication and it had changed her life. I messaged her to thank her for sharing her story because it changed my view on seeking treatment and the thought of taking daily medication for anxiety. I just didn’t understand how medicine could make me “worry” less. I didn’t realize it could change my life. And hearing Jen say it had changed her life, I called my doctor that day and scheduled an appointment.

I started with counseling and an as-needed medication. In my first counseling appointment, she identified my issues and officially diagnosed me with GAD and called out the way I was using OCD to help myself cope with them. After a month of counseling, I began the daily medication. I still see a counselor and am learning techniques to cope with my anxiety and the obsessive compulsive tendencies I have developed.

The medicine hasn’t changed “me.” The simplest way I can explain the effect of my medication is that it allows me to differentiate between rational and irrational thoughts. Not only that, it helps me to talk myself down from the irrational fears, most of the time. The anxiety isn’t completely gone and it never will be. But I am able to sleep at night again. I no longer feel irritable, exhausted and frustrated (most of the time). I do still have bad days. Days when my worries take over my brain. Days when I feel down or on edge. But I remind myself to take it one day at a time. That’s all anyone can do.

While I have come so far in the past five months, I know I definitely have work to do. I still have some irrational fears I am not able to talk myself through.

Letting someone else drive my children somewhere for fear of them being in a car accident.

Ben sleeping in his own room.

Shootings in crowded buildings, such as the movie theatre, the mall and concerts.

If you are feeling this way, I want you to know you’re not alone. There is treatment out there to help you live your life. You don’t have to spend your life in a haze of worry and fear. You deserve to make your health and well-being a priority. You deserve to get help. You deserve to talk with someone who “gets” it and can help you treat it.

I am such an open book when it comes to anxiety and my struggle. I decided to get help because of a blog post I read. So I want to speak about my experiences and about this mental illness that is a part of me. Please, please don’t hesitate to reach out to me however you feel comfortable. Comments, DMs or emails. I am here for you and would love to answer any questions you may have or just to be a (digital) shoulder for you to cry on and ear to listen to you. 

You are not alone.

    leave a comment


    • How many kids do you have? Which transition was the hardest? It may not be the traditional answer, but for me, becoming a mama to one was the hardest. I had NO CLUE what I was in for.
The mom guilt.
How long it would take to leave the house.
The sleepless nights.
Losing myself in motherhood — feeling like I had to be with Blaire 24/7.
Adding Ben and now Sloane to our crew has been so much easier for me. It’s like they just fall in line with the crazy. 🤪 And I think being so much more confident in myself as a mom doesn’t hurt either. 💁🏼‍♀️ #motherhoodishard
#motherhood #momofthree #momof3 #clickinmoms #momtog #thelovelysquares #happilytrista #blaireandben #blairebenandsloane
    • ice cream outside with two of my favorite people. when it’s only 70° outside you can actually eat your ice cream without it melting all over us... and by us I mean them. 👆🏻👆🏻 #blaireandben
#2yearsold #5yearsold #momof3 #motherhoodintheraw #lifegivingsquares #petitejoy #motherhoodrising #ourcandidlife #uniteinmotherhood #mymamahood #seekthesimplicity #sharegood #joyfulmamas #documentlife #dailyparenting #momblogger #honestlymothering #therealparenthood  #thehappycapture #momsofinstagram #mytinymoments #thecreativecollective #realmotherhood #lifestyleblogger #stopdropandmom
    • Prepping for our third baby has been pretty easy so far. I guess when you have an older sister and brother, plus a mama who likes to hold on to everything from her babies, there isn’t a ton of shopping to do. The kids are having fun picking out little gifts to give baby sister in the hospital (something Blaire still talks about from when Ben was born), little toys here and there, PJs, and this @babyeinstein 4-in-1 Kickin Tunes Music & Language Discovery Gym at @target. I wasn’t joking when I said they wanted to test it out! #babyeinstein #ignitecuriosity #socialspotters #blaireandben #happilytrista
    • #ad I can’t believe this girl is heading off to kindergarten! With afternoon pre-k last year, we were lucky to not have to worry about the morning rush. So this year, our go-to is a waffle and a chocolate milk for the ride to school. Horizon® Shelf Stable Chocolate Milk is our favorite since we can easily grab it and go! Spoiler alert: she takes one in her lunch, too. Blaire is so excited, but little brother and I are sad to see her spend so much time away from us. But I am excited to be able to walk her to school and avoid the CRAZY drop-off and pick-up lines while the weather’s still nice, anyways. 
You can find @HorizonOrganic Chocolate Milk at @KrogerCo and you can even save $1 with this digital coupon (7/24/19 – 8/6/19). And you can stock up because Horizon Organic milk boxes are shelf-stable, meaning you can safely store them in the pantry. Shop now through the link in my bio. #blaireandben
    • Well we don’t have a Nordstrom near us, but we do have an Aldi. Most of their summer items are on clearance and we scored this sweet pool for $7. Winner, winner. 🦄☀️ #blaireandben
#summer #momentsiwanttoremember #aldifinds #motherhood
    • This summer hasn’t really felt like summer yet. 🤨 So when we have an 85° day we make the most out of it with a trip to the pool! How’d you spend your Sunday Funday? #blaireandben
    • another day, another doctors appointment for someone in our crew. today it’s Ben. he was up overnight saying his ear hurt — a double ear infection for him. luckily the kid loves taking medicine and hasn’t let his ears get him down! as long as he’s up moving around they’re fine, but the second he lays down... 😭😭😭. hoping our poor buddy is feeling better tomorrow. do you feel like you need a frequent flier card for your pediatrician? just me? okay. #blaireandben #itsfinewerefine
#uniteinmotherhood #motherhoodintheraw #momentsiwanttoremember #mybabies
    • When your brother is getting big but you still want to hold him... you gotta pinch his butt because he’s so wiggly. 😂😬😍 #blaireandben •
#petitejoys  #childhoodunplugged #letthembelittle #ohheymama #tagtheqc #mybeautifulmess #thehappynow  #thepursuitofjoyproject #thatsdarling #livethelittlethings #momentsiwanttoremember #everydaymoments #nothingisordinary #motherhoodrising
    • It is definitely bittersweet to leave the house where we brought both of these babies home. But we are excited for our next chapter as a family of five! #rainbowbaby #blaireandben
#pregnancyannouncement #rainbowbabyannouncement #firsttrimester
    • Last night was our first night in the new house. 👏🏻 We still have lots of stuff to bring from the old house and then lots of cleaning over there before the final walk through and closing next Monday. Then we can focus on getting this house unpacked and organized. But first, I would like a nap. 😴 #blaireandben #happilytristahome
    • The snow that never ends. 🙄🥶 Walked out into the snow this afternoon and one kid loved it, the other not so much. “Wowwww! It’s like a wizard out here.” —Blaire 😂
“Yuck!” —Ben #blaireandben
#bestofmom #momlifestyle #momlifeisthebestlife #motherhoodunplugged #mymotherhood #honestmotherhood #slowmotherhood #mymamahood #midwestblogger #eternalmotherhood #motherhoodintheraw #unitedinmotherhood #motherhoodrising #polarvortex