• just a baby... in a diaper bag. 🤪 #happilytrista #fawndesign #sollybaby
  • cheers to the end of a long weekend that left every room of our house messy, the laundry over-flowing and lots of dishes in the sink. everyone is healthy-ish and I am just so happy and thankful. ❤️ and also hoping I can get some things back in order today. 🤪 #happilytrista
  • there are so many amazing moments as a mom, but my all time favorite has to be my little babies scanning the room, their faces lighting up as soon as they see me. you’re all they need. you’re their world. and it’s just the greatest feeling. ✨ #happilytrista #3monthsold #15weeksold
  • oh these sweet sisters. 🥰 this made Blaire’s day yesterday. she was so excited to wear Sloane and gosh it made my whole life. ❤️ #happilytrista #babywearing #wearallthebabies
  • I love that I can see how much they look alike in this picture. those cute little profiles. 🥰 too bad this little guy woke up with a tummy bug today, soooo back to the pediatrician for us tomorrow. that makes 5 visits in the past two weeks. thanks, 2020. 😷 are your kiddos fighting off these nasty germs or are they keeping you cooped up in the house like mine? #happilytrista #messymotherhood #honestmotherhood #motherhoodintheraw
  • when you’re feeling down on yourself ✨ #happilytrista #inspiration #goodvibes
  • I wore makeup and did my hair the other day. may as well document it. 🥳 I am going to share a few things about me, because I’m usually always sharing about my kids.
1. I am so awkward in person that I often pretend not to see someone I know. I hate small talk and I just always say something weird. I also always leave the weirdest, most awkward voicemails. 🤷🏼‍♀️
2. I lived in Illinois my whole life, until I moved to Arizona for college (University of Arizona!). After graduation I moved back in with my parents, where I lived until the day I married Jason... and probably technically until we got back from our honeymoon a week later.
3. My favorite thing to do for myself is seeing my chiropractor for an adjustment, followed up by a massage. Relaxing AND covered by insurance. 🤣
4. I have suffered from generalized anxiety disorder for as long as I can remember. But only after Ben was born did I finally speak to a professional about it. Treating it has made my life so much better.
5. I am allergic to green foods. Green apples, grapes, pickles, etc. But not in a life threatening way. Just in a “one side of my face turns red” way. Like you could draw a line down the middle of my face. It’s so strange.
Okay, I’m awkward and strange and whatever. Share something about yourself below. 🤞🏻 #happilytrista
  • shared a similar picture of Ben in my stories yesterday and just had to document here too. his love for Toy Story is the cutest thing... right down to his slippers. Last night Jason and I were saying how much we’d love to see his reaction to meeting the characters in real life... why is WDW so far away?! what characters are your little ones in to? #happilytrista
  • first time in the big bathtub. ✨ #happilytrista #tubbytoddfirstbath
  • days this past week. ear infections, pink eye, runny noses, coughs and congestion... 😶 LYSOL WIPING EVERYTHING when I’m not holding this baby. 😬 #happilytrista
  • If you've never thought of giving your baby a #probiotic you're not alone. @HappilyTrista didn't start using probiotics until Baby #2 came alone, but the difference she's noticed is enough to make her a believer! #repost ・・・
#evivopartner With all of the hard work that goes into breastfeeding, I want to make sure Sloane is digesting all of the amazing proteins found in breastmilk. Today, I’m sharing a blog post talking about the benefits of using @evivohealth infant probiotic- the first six months of a baby’s life is the best time to use one because they’re developing their metabolism and immune system.  #MyEvivoStory #EvivoXL2 #happilytrista
April 26, 2016

Why I’m Done Pretending to Care About a Clean House


laundry dayJust this last week I realized how many times I apologize to my friends. For having a messy house. For not having makeup on or my hair done in my off-time. For being dressed like a bum in comfy clothes. For… who even knows what else. I’m done apologizing. And I think you should stop, too. I think you should stop apologized for who you are and who you’re not.

I stepped back and asked myself, “At what point in my life did I start holding myself to such an unrealistic expectation?” Maybe you are that mama who loves to have a spotless house. Or who loves cooking three course meals from scratch every night. Since when did we feel like we had to start pretending to be something we’re not? Like… Our houses are always spotless. Our meals are always gourmet and perfect. Our hair, makeup and outfit are always flawless. Maybe you’re one of those girls. But maybe you’re not. I’m not! And that’s okay. It’s more than okay. It’s who you are and that’s amazing.

Holding yourself to this high expectation puts so much extra stress in your life. And do you need more stress? I didn’t think so. Would constantly picking up and cleaning to keep a spotless house really make you feel less stressed? Maybe. But if you’re only doing it because you think everyone else is too, then maybe not.

Is there something out there that you know will make you feel less stressed? Ending your night with a glass of wine, reading a magazine or watching a TV show that’s not on Disney Jr? (Sounds like Heaven to me!) And if it’ll destress you, then I think it’s more important than keeping all of your laundry fluffed, folded and put away.

My time at home is limited. I don’t typically get home from work/daycare pickup until 5PM most nights. And if we run any errands, we aren’t home until 6PM.  This means we have two hours to eat dinner, enjoy some playtime and then get my kiddo off to bed. Then I have another two hours before I tuck myself in to bed.

Sure. I could use this down time every  night to clean the kitchen, or pick up all of Blaire’s toys, or catch up on laundry. But I can also use it to spend time on the couch with my husband. And that’s typically how I choose to spend it. If I’m not blogging, we’re typically catching up on the DVR, eating the candy/junk food we keep hidden from our toddler.

If my house looks tidy, it’s because I moved the junk somewhere out of the camera’s eye I’m really trying. But if my house is tidy, it’s probably because Blaire took a good nap and I was so sick of the toys everywhere. Or I spend my night picking up, and now I don’t have my lunch packed for work tomorrow. I’d love to be someone who really cares about how tidy my house, but that’s not me. So when it does happen, it’s because I gave up something, somewhere.

If my friends are real friends, then they should know the real me. The me who would rather eat takeout than cook any a huge, fancy dinner. The me who piles up clean laundry in laundry baskets because I hate folding it and putting it away. The me who has toys all over her living room because a toddler lives here. The me who cares more about a house that smells good than a house that’s neat and tidy. That’s me.

So let’s stop the mom shaming because the guilt is real. We’re constantly comparing ourselves to other mamas. The ones who seem to have it all together, at all times. But can anyone ever really have it all together all the time? (Without hired help?)  It’s time we stop thriving for something we think might make us happy… and focus on the things that make us happy. And maybe cleaning makes you happy. But maybe spending your free time at the gym or on your couch — reading that magazine, makes you happy. Whatever your happy is, do it, because you deserve it.

Writing makes me happy. Sleeping makes me happy. Binge watching shows on the couch with my hubby makes me happy. Sharing my house with a toddler who is constantly “reading” books, playing with her babies and coloring makes me happy. Spending time playing with that little toddler instead of worrying about the messes she’s leaving behind makes me happy. I’m one happy mama & wife. I’m not sorry for spending my free time doing things that make me happy. I’m not sorry there are toys scattered everywhere in my living room. I’m not sorry I have clothes sitting in laundry baskets. 

What makes you happy? What are you not sorry for? xo

I'm Done Pretending to Care About a Clean House

  • Reply
    Carol Davis
    May 2, 2016 at 9:24 pm

    Well said Trista. Enjoy your family. Time goes by way to fast! Loved this blog.❤️

    • Reply
      September 7, 2016 at 5:36 pm

      Thank you! :)

  • Reply
    May 9, 2016 at 9:33 am

    My mother would die if she saw the mess I am living in :)

  • Reply
    May 11, 2016 at 10:17 am

    Very well said. This is a beautiful post. Thanks for the great reminders. :)

    • Reply
      September 7, 2016 at 5:41 pm

      Thanks, Rebecca!

  • Reply
    May 11, 2016 at 10:34 am

    Yes I can totally relate. For me I live a real mom life. I tell other moms I don’t always make dinner, I haven’t cleaned my bathroom in ages, and the list goes on. I’ve distanced myself from the mom groups and the moms in town that lead the crazy perfect mom life. It wasn’t fun going to playdates where there are choreographed stations that you rotate after 15 minutes of play, fancy pinterest worthy snacks, houses decorated like a magazine. None of it seems real, it all seemed so fake. I would get asked how did I get so much painting done and hiking with my daughter several times a week. When I told them I didn’t keep my house like their I basically do a 15 minute pick up and keep kitchen, dinning, living room in a less than perfect state they would say “Oh” in a not pleasant tone.

    • Reply
      September 7, 2016 at 5:42 pm

      Oh no! I would probably distance myself too! It’s exhausting trying to pretend to be something you’re not.

  • Reply
    Shani | Sunshine & Munchkins
    September 2, 2016 at 9:59 pm

    I saw this little triangle diagram once that had “your sanity” on one point, “a clean house” on another point and “happy kids” on the other point. At the bottom it said “choose two”. haha, it’s so true! I like to keep my front room and kitchen area fairly clean but most of the rest of the house has clothes scattered on the floor, bathrooms that need cleaning and beds that need making. I think it’s important to remember that we can only know what’s going on in our own lives and judging others for how clean/dirty they keep their home is a waste of time and energy.

    • Reply
      September 2, 2016 at 10:42 pm

      I’ve never seen that diagram, but I love it! I definitely need to work on keeping my kitchen more picked up… I feel like a clean kitchen tricks me into feeling like my house is clean! ;)

  • Reply
    Dawnene - Beans & Peanuts
    September 2, 2016 at 10:25 pm

    Today I decided not to do anything except play with my girls. When a family member came to the door I explained that’s what I was doing and that’s why my front mat was so dirty….I agree, why do we feel the need to say things like that. Who cares! I enjoyed a day with my girls and that’s all that matters! Great post

    • Reply
      September 2, 2016 at 10:42 pm

      Yes!! I love this. It’s so funny when you really stop to think about… you notice so much more than your friend does. So we’re really only pointing out the things that they’re probably overlooking anyways!

  • Reply
    September 4, 2016 at 7:10 pm

    Great post!!! I feel the same exact way!

    • Reply
      September 7, 2016 at 5:43 pm

      Thanks, Britt!

  • Reply
    Krista Nile
    September 7, 2016 at 7:04 pm

    Amen to this! I needed this reminder today!

    • Reply
      September 8, 2016 at 10:06 pm

      Perfect! ?

  • Reply
    Samantha Kuzyk
    September 7, 2016 at 7:38 pm

    I totally agree with you! Cleaning is totally at the bottom of my priorities list! I would much rather spend time with family and friends, relax with coffee and netflix, and workout, which helps me destress and its the only time I have to myself!

    • Reply
      September 8, 2016 at 10:07 pm

      Yay! I am happy to hear it! ?

  • Reply
    September 7, 2016 at 9:14 pm

    This is where I am in my life right now. Thanks for making me not feel so alone ☺️

    • Reply
      September 7, 2016 at 9:23 pm

      Happy to help in any way I can. ;)

  • Reply
    September 8, 2016 at 1:39 am

    Loved your blog and your writing style !

    • Reply
      September 8, 2016 at 9:59 pm

      Thanks, Devika!

  • Reply
    Andrea Bai
    September 9, 2016 at 2:40 pm

    I totally agree! There are only so many hours in the day.

    Glam Hungry Mom

  • Reply
    Rachel Krone
    December 1, 2016 at 8:11 pm

    This is exactly what i Needed Today! Thanks for sharing!

    • Reply
      December 29, 2016 at 9:19 am

      I’m glad you liked it, Rachel! :)

leave a comment


  • How many kids do you have? Which transition was the hardest? It may not be the traditional answer, but for me, becoming a mama to one was the hardest. I had NO CLUE what I was in for.
The mom guilt.
How long it would take to leave the house.
The sleepless nights.
Losing myself in motherhood — feeling like I had to be with Blaire 24/7.
Adding Ben and now Sloane to our crew has been so much easier for me. It’s like they just fall in line with the crazy. 🤪 And I think being so much more confident in myself as a mom doesn’t hurt either. 💁🏼‍♀️ #motherhoodishard
#motherhood #momofthree #momof3 #clickinmoms #momtog #thelovelysquares #happilytrista #blaireandben #blairebenandsloane
  • ice cream outside with two of my favorite people. when it’s only 70° outside you can actually eat your ice cream without it melting all over us... and by us I mean them. 👆🏻👆🏻 #blaireandben
#2yearsold #5yearsold #momof3 #motherhoodintheraw #lifegivingsquares #petitejoy #motherhoodrising #ourcandidlife #uniteinmotherhood #mymamahood #seekthesimplicity #sharegood #joyfulmamas #documentlife #dailyparenting #momblogger #honestlymothering #therealparenthood  #thehappycapture #momsofinstagram #mytinymoments #thecreativecollective #realmotherhood #lifestyleblogger #stopdropandmom
  • Prepping for our third baby has been pretty easy so far. I guess when you have an older sister and brother, plus a mama who likes to hold on to everything from her babies, there isn’t a ton of shopping to do. The kids are having fun picking out little gifts to give baby sister in the hospital (something Blaire still talks about from when Ben was born), little toys here and there, PJs, and this @babyeinstein 4-in-1 Kickin Tunes Music & Language Discovery Gym at @target. I wasn’t joking when I said they wanted to test it out! #babyeinstein #ignitecuriosity #socialspotters #blaireandben #happilytrista
  • #ad I can’t believe this girl is heading off to kindergarten! With afternoon pre-k last year, we were lucky to not have to worry about the morning rush. So this year, our go-to is a waffle and a chocolate milk for the ride to school. Horizon® Shelf Stable Chocolate Milk is our favorite since we can easily grab it and go! Spoiler alert: she takes one in her lunch, too. Blaire is so excited, but little brother and I are sad to see her spend so much time away from us. But I am excited to be able to walk her to school and avoid the CRAZY drop-off and pick-up lines while the weather’s still nice, anyways. 
You can find @HorizonOrganic Chocolate Milk at @KrogerCo and you can even save $1 with this digital coupon (7/24/19 – 8/6/19). And you can stock up because Horizon Organic milk boxes are shelf-stable, meaning you can safely store them in the pantry. Shop now through the link in my bio. #blaireandben
  • Well we don’t have a Nordstrom near us, but we do have an Aldi. Most of their summer items are on clearance and we scored this sweet pool for $7. Winner, winner. 🦄☀️ #blaireandben
#summer #momentsiwanttoremember #aldifinds #motherhood
  • This summer hasn’t really felt like summer yet. 🤨 So when we have an 85° day we make the most out of it with a trip to the pool! How’d you spend your Sunday Funday? #blaireandben
  • another day, another doctors appointment for someone in our crew. today it’s Ben. he was up overnight saying his ear hurt — a double ear infection for him. luckily the kid loves taking medicine and hasn’t let his ears get him down! as long as he’s up moving around they’re fine, but the second he lays down... 😭😭😭. hoping our poor buddy is feeling better tomorrow. do you feel like you need a frequent flier card for your pediatrician? just me? okay. #blaireandben #itsfinewerefine
#uniteinmotherhood #motherhoodintheraw #momentsiwanttoremember #mybabies
  • When your brother is getting big but you still want to hold him... you gotta pinch his butt because he’s so wiggly. 😂😬😍 #blaireandben •
#petitejoys  #childhoodunplugged #letthembelittle #ohheymama #tagtheqc #mybeautifulmess #thehappynow  #thepursuitofjoyproject #thatsdarling #livethelittlethings #momentsiwanttoremember #everydaymoments #nothingisordinary #motherhoodrising
  • It is definitely bittersweet to leave the house where we brought both of these babies home. But we are excited for our next chapter as a family of five! #rainbowbaby #blaireandben
#pregnancyannouncement #rainbowbabyannouncement #firsttrimester
  • Last night was our first night in the new house. 👏🏻 We still have lots of stuff to bring from the old house and then lots of cleaning over there before the final walk through and closing next Monday. Then we can focus on getting this house unpacked and organized. But first, I would like a nap. 😴 #blaireandben #happilytristahome
  • The snow that never ends. 🙄🥶 Walked out into the snow this afternoon and one kid loved it, the other not so much. “Wowwww! It’s like a wizard out here.” —Blaire 😂
“Yuck!” —Ben #blaireandben
#bestofmom #momlifestyle #momlifeisthebestlife #motherhoodunplugged #mymotherhood #honestmotherhood #slowmotherhood #mymamahood #midwestblogger #eternalmotherhood #motherhoodintheraw #unitedinmotherhood #motherhoodrising #polarvortex