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  • I’ll take 3 more of her.
#happilytrista
  • these first few smiles are literally the best thing ever. when you realize how happy you make a tiny person. when you see their face light up because they love you so much. then you fast forward 2.5 years and they’re demanding brownies and cheetos for lunch. 😬😬😬 #sixweeksold #happilytrista
  • (sponsored) When you become a parent, there are so many new things to learn about and I feel like each person latches on to something they’re passionate about / can’t stop reading and learning about. For me? That’s car seats! Thankfully some states are finally updating their laws to conform to recommendations from the APA. We have tried quite a few different seats and this 3-in-1 Pria seat from @maxicosiusa is the nicest! The chest clip is magnetic, making it easy to clip and unclip with one hand. The straps stay in place thanks to their out-of-the-way spring assist, so no more twisted up straps. And the cushions are both washer AND dryer safe! Yay for no more hang-drying! On top of that, it’s rear-facing up to 40lbs, forward-facing up to 65lbs and then a booster up to 100lbs. #ParentYourWay #PriaMax3in1 #happilytrista
  • 6 weeks of this angel girl ✨
She is still waking up once over night most nights. She just started smiling at us these past few days. She loves tummy time but rolls herself over all of the time so we have to roll her back. She loves to be worn and snuggled. And we have to restrain her brother from kissing her 193739 times per day. 🤪 #happilytrista #newborn #sixweeksold #fourthtrimester
  • We are currently paying the price for last week’s easy bedtimes. I’m trying to get Ben to sleep in his own room. So you can guess how happy he is about that. His yelling has Blaire awake still, she’s been out of her room about 25 times. And Sloane is passed out on the couch. At least someone is asleep. They’re lucky they’re adorable because holy moly I’m tired and just want to veg out on the couch. #gotheftosleep #blairebenandsloane #happilytrista
  • Yesterday was almost 60° and today it “feels like” 21°. We had a handful of fall days and it’s not fair because I’m not ready to skip right to winter. There’s nothing better to get us all out of the house than a walk, especially because wearing Sloane puts her right to sleep. Anywho, trying to squeeze in a nap before we get Blaire from school because once we get home it’ll be a mad dash for me to shower and get everyone ready for Blaire’s first kindergarten parent/teacher conference. AND it’s book fair at her school. Who still gets excited for the book fair? 🤭🙋🏼‍♀️ #happilytrista
  • someone changed out of their pajamas today. it wasn’t me.
#happilytrista #rainbowbaby
  • daylight savings vibes... casually pouring coffee in my eyes today. what time were your kiddos awake? 
#dst #daylightsavingssucks #happilytrista #targetstyle
  • Sorry if this made you yawn. 🤭 I just love that Sloane feels the sleep dust when I’m wearing her, just like Benny did! 💕 Hope you’re having a weekend as great as this girl. She is one month old today! Still waking just at 1:30am most nights to eat... occasionally around 5am, too. When she’s awake she likes to look at lights and stare at mama. Whenever she does tummy time she rolls right over to her back. 🥰 #happilytrista
  • Tried some Pinterest-y nail art while the two older kids were at school this morning... and I’m ready to remove and do something a little less crazy when they’re all in bed tonight. 🤪 Real wild Friday night plans, am I right?
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#nailsofinstagram #nailsoftheday #essie #manimonday #happilytrista
  • Sloane’s first Halloween... the one where it snowed 3 inches and was 20° outside. Woody and Jessie lasted about 30 mins trick-or-treating, then they wanted to head home to hand out candy. What was the weather like where you live? And how many pieces of candy do people give out where you trick-or-treat? Here, it’s a tie between “choose two pieces” and “grab a handful.” #blairebenandsloane #halloween #halloween2019 #happilytrista
June 7, 2015

My Battle with Anxiety as a Mom

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mom anxiety

That’s right! I’m talking about a giant/enormous/consuming/crazy emotion I call Mom Anxiety. I never considered myself a worrier before becoming a mom. Did bad things happen in the world? Yes. Could something bad happen to me? Or to someone I love? Yes. Did it keep me up every night? Nope. Did I obsess over it every. single. day? Not really. 

But it’s crazy, because the more I’ve learned about anxiety, the more I’ve realized that I’ve never lived a “normal” life. While my anxiety never kept me up at night, it did keep me from leaving the house. It kept me from large groups and public places. It kept me from leaving my apartment after dark. I’ve never been carefree. From as early as I could remember, I’ve had unrealistic worry about everyday things. I always just thought that was part of my personality. I was afraid of the dark. I was afraid of what could happen in a large group of people. I was afraid of my house catching on fire. But I never realized that I obsessed over these things. Until I became a mom.

From the day I found out I was pregnant, my anxiety has tripled. I found out on a Sunday, Father’s Day, and that night I had to drive out of town for work. During that four hour drive, it hit me for the first time. I was now completely responsible for another life. Someone was depending on me in a way I had never experienced before. Throughout pregnancy, even the most healthy pregnancy, there are so many things to worry about. Is your baby healthy?Is he/she moving enough?Is he/she the right size? #anixiety

Once Blaire was born, the worry shifted to whether or not she was breathing. Is she sleeping enough?, Is she sleeping too much?, Is she sleeping in a position that’s going to make her head flat? So. many. worries. And as your child becomes mobile? More and more to worry about. Blaire didn’t sleep in her own room until she was 10 months old. And it had nothing to do with what she wanted… I just felt she was safer in our room. Hell, I still feel like she’s safer in our room. When she’s asleep in her own bed, I can’t shut my brain off… What if she stops breathing?, What if someone breaks in?, What if there is a fire?, What if she gets sick? Are you sensing a pattern? My life is a flurry of what-ifs and worst-case scenarios. 

At any given moment I am worried about the million different things that could happen to Blaire, Jason or our family and friends. Then there are the tragic stories all around. On the news, online, something that’s happened to a friend of a friend. These are stories I cannot forget. These are stories I obsessed over for days, weeks, or even months. I feel for these parents I’ve never met. Parents I will never meet. It’s scary and it’s stressful. And it breaks my heart. It keeps me up at night. I pray to not know that hurt, that anger, that stress of going through a horrible tragedy.

At first I blamed it on Facebook. It seemed like it was one of my biggest channels for stress and anxiety. Every time I checked my newsfeed there was something terrible or negative to read about. Whether it’s a sick baby, or a mother who was tragically killed… there’s truly no end to the negative, scary scenarios out there. To combat the anxiety I had every time I checked my newsfeed, I ended up unliking a lot of news outlets (and even Cosmo magazine!), to help cut down on the amount of tragedies I see on my newsfeed. But it’s truly something I can’t get away from. I’ve found I can make myself anxious over things that I dream up in my own head, just as much as I can about real-life stories from the news.

The positive of this whole situation is it reminds me to cherish every single moment with Blaire (and everyone else I love, for that matter). For the longest time, I’ve thought I was crazy. But now I know I’m not the only one. Anxiety effects 18% of the population, but it’s always been taboo for people to talk about. Well thank God that has changed, because being aware of my issues has definitely helped me learn how to control them.

Does being a mom make you an anxious, nervous mess? If so, how do you deal with it? 

And, because I always like to end on a positive note, here’s the girl who makes being a crazy, anxious mama so, so worth it. xoIMG_4819

Updated March 2016 and again July 2016.

My Battle with Anxiety as a Mom

  • Reply
    christina rambo
    March 18, 2016 at 1:57 pm

    You are not alone! I actually blog about my anxiety. The best resource for me have been books by Dr. Claire weekes. Seriously so helpful!

    • Reply
      Trista
      March 22, 2016 at 10:15 pm

      Hi Christina! What’s your blog? I’d LOVE to check it out. And I’ll have to check out her books, too! Thank you!

  • Reply
    Denise Renae
    March 18, 2016 at 2:08 pm

    Hey Trista! I found you on the Blog & Business FB Group. I can completely understand you in this! This is definitely something all us first time moms deal with! I actually just created a post this morning about why it gets easier the more children you have. One of those reasons is because us moms deal with less fear compared to what we dealt with when we had our first. If you’d like, check it out :) http://www.deniserenae.com/get-easier-more-children/

  • Reply
    Sandi Schwartz
    March 19, 2016 at 11:30 am

    Great, honest post. You are definitely not alone. I have always been a worrier and come from a long line of worriers, but my anxiety spiked once I had to deal with infertility and high risk pregnancies. Being a parent is the hardest job in the world, and all the social media and news keep information in our face 24/7. I love how you are trying to focus on gratitude amongst all the stress. That’s what we have to do. Enjoy every minute!

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  • How many kids do you have? Which transition was the hardest? It may not be the traditional answer, but for me, becoming a mama to one was the hardest. I had NO CLUE what I was in for.
The mom guilt.
How long it would take to leave the house.
The sleepless nights.
Breastfeeding.
Losing myself in motherhood — feeling like I had to be with Blaire 24/7.
Adding Ben and now Sloane to our crew has been so much easier for me. It’s like they just fall in line with the crazy. 🤪 And I think being so much more confident in myself as a mom doesn’t hurt either. 💁🏼‍♀️ #motherhoodishard
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  • Prepping for our third baby has been pretty easy so far. I guess when you have an older sister and brother, plus a mama who likes to hold on to everything from her babies, there isn’t a ton of shopping to do. The kids are having fun picking out little gifts to give baby sister in the hospital (something Blaire still talks about from when Ben was born), little toys here and there, PJs, and this @babyeinstein 4-in-1 Kickin Tunes Music & Language Discovery Gym at @target. I wasn’t joking when I said they wanted to test it out! #babyeinstein #ignitecuriosity #socialspotters #blaireandben #happilytrista
  • #ad I can’t believe this girl is heading off to kindergarten! With afternoon pre-k last year, we were lucky to not have to worry about the morning rush. So this year, our go-to is a waffle and a chocolate milk for the ride to school. Horizon® Shelf Stable Chocolate Milk is our favorite since we can easily grab it and go! Spoiler alert: she takes one in her lunch, too. Blaire is so excited, but little brother and I are sad to see her spend so much time away from us. But I am excited to be able to walk her to school and avoid the CRAZY drop-off and pick-up lines while the weather’s still nice, anyways. 
You can find @HorizonOrganic Chocolate Milk at @KrogerCo and you can even save $1 with this digital coupon (7/24/19 – 8/6/19). And you can stock up because Horizon Organic milk boxes are shelf-stable, meaning you can safely store them in the pantry. Shop now through the link in my bio. #blaireandben
  • Well we don’t have a Nordstrom near us, but we do have an Aldi. Most of their summer items are on clearance and we scored this sweet pool for $7. Winner, winner. 🦄☀️ #blaireandben
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#summer #momentsiwanttoremember #aldifinds #motherhood
  • This summer hasn’t really felt like summer yet. 🤨 So when we have an 85° day we make the most out of it with a trip to the pool! How’d you spend your Sunday Funday? #blaireandben
  • another day, another doctors appointment for someone in our crew. today it’s Ben. he was up overnight saying his ear hurt — a double ear infection for him. luckily the kid loves taking medicine and hasn’t let his ears get him down! as long as he’s up moving around they’re fine, but the second he lays down... 😭😭😭. hoping our poor buddy is feeling better tomorrow. do you feel like you need a frequent flier card for your pediatrician? just me? okay. #blaireandben #itsfinewerefine
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#uniteinmotherhood #motherhoodintheraw #momentsiwanttoremember #mybabies
  • When your brother is getting big but you still want to hold him... you gotta pinch his butt because he’s so wiggly. 😂😬😍 #blaireandben •
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  • It is definitely bittersweet to leave the house where we brought both of these babies home. But we are excited for our next chapter as a family of five! #rainbowbaby #blaireandben
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#pregnancyannouncement #rainbowbabyannouncement #firsttrimester
  • Last night was our first night in the new house. 👏🏻 We still have lots of stuff to bring from the old house and then lots of cleaning over there before the final walk through and closing next Monday. Then we can focus on getting this house unpacked and organized. But first, I would like a nap. 😴 #blaireandben #happilytristahome
  • The snow that never ends. 🙄🥶 Walked out into the snow this afternoon and one kid loved it, the other not so much. “Wowwww! It’s like a wizard out here.” —Blaire 😂
“Yuck!” —Ben #blaireandben
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